My brother doesn't respect women, he considers them to be rather stupid and unpredictable - "full of unpleasant surprises", he says. Explaining his attitude to female gender he always tells the story which I personally know already by heart. Here it is.

Despite fashion, Dima never liked thin women. He was sure that there must be many places to grab hold of on a woman's body, that's why he married a fat young lady... very fat actually. Ann couldn't even dream about such a husband: a young, handsome seaman who loved her right enough to marry. Ann wasn't ugly either, but unlike Dima, she hated her fat unshaped body.

Like all young couples, they also had their blue dream or dreams, because they were different. Dima was dreaming about a beautiful, fashionable car and saved money for it. And Ann was dreaming....no, not about a dozen of children and a white house by the sea! She was dreaming about beautiful underwear, short skirts, half-opened blouses -- to cut it short, about a slim body. Not all dreams are fated to come true though.

It was March and coming spring couldn't leave Ann careless about her body. "It will be warm soon. All women will start wearing short skirts, sexy blouses, high heel shoes... I will put on my long black skirt and imagine that it looks very sexy! Why am I so fat? What Dima loves in me?" -- thought Ann lying on the couch and eating cookies.

Certainly, Dima noticed these changes in his wife's mood but thought it was a complete nonsense because he loved her body the way it was. Besides, he had more serious problem. Dima already had the money he needed and knew where and what kind of car he would buy. The problem was that this car was unavailable for sale for the nearest two weeks and Dima was going to sea in three days. He had no choice but to entrust his beloved wife with this responsible task. It was his big mistake!

Ann had a detailed plan of how, where and when to buy Dima's dream. On the other hand, she had her own dream and big money.....big enough to make her body much thinner (women will understand). And the choice was made -- liposuction!

Dima called home once a week and Ann had to explain him how she had already bought the car. She promised to tell him everything when he returned. Poor Dima! He didn't have the foggiest notion that someone had already bought his dream and that half of his money was going into a plastic surgeon's pocket. Ann was sure, when her husband saw her beautiful body he would forget about his car; she would make him a better surprise than he expected!

After the operation Ann was.... still fat, however not too fat! Nobody noticed these changes though, but she was sure that Dima would, because he was the only one who knew her body well. To look even sexier than she already was, Ann spent the rest of the money for the most expensive underwear...of the biggest size...but still!

"I've got a surprise for you", - said Ann as soon as Dima entered the room. "I know! Where's it? Opposite our windows? In the garage?"- Dima couldn't wait any longer. "Right here!" - said Ann and took off her dressing gown. "You've bought new underwear! It's nice! And where's my surprise? I need to see it!" "It's not underwear, Dima! It's my body!"- Ann was getting angry. "Honey, your body's perfect! It's just the way I love it! Tell me about the car. Were there any problems?" "There's NO car! And there's NO money! I've undergone liposuction! And bought new underwear! You said it's nice..." - Ann was going to cry watching how quickly her husband stopped smiling. "...You...did...what?"-- were the last Dima's words before he lost consciousness.

Since that time, Dima doesn't entrust Ann with large sums of money and always does big shopping himself. He doesn't respect women, but he still loves them, especially his fatty Ann.

Kate, 30