When people say be yourself we always nod, no? We always agree that in the huge diversity of individuals you are the only one like that and people around should admit that. Its easy to admit in theory but hard to put in practice though. I know that from my own life.
If follow that saying I should be proud to be myself, right? In fact, it doesnt always work. To go deeper, I felt frustrated before because I was fat. Literally fat, not just slightly overweight like many people around. I was very, very fat just like a pig. This fact made me unhappy and frustrated.
Add that Im really tall to that and you get me. I was just lucky to meet my husband on my way, otherwise Id never had anything like self-esteem ever. My husband is also very tall and big. I like big men, thats the only type I can feel safe with. I had a slim boy-friend back in high school but I never felt secure with him. On the contrary, he used to make jokes out of my weight saying he would never be scared walking home since he had me. Oh gross like they say today.
My husband is tall too. Hes tall, hes strong, and hes extremely kind. I never met anyone who would be that kind. Thats why I pray for his goodness every day and Im thankful for each day we have together.
The only thing that makes me sad is our daughter. Shes got obesity and she suffers a lot because of that. I wish I could help her but I cannot. She got that obesity thing since she was a little girl. That was also my fault, because additionally to taking after her father in body structure she also took a bad liking to having snack too often during the day and that included tons of chocolate, candies, cookies and all that starchy things that kids like so much.
So when we got to the doctor it was a bit too late, she was 5 years old already and doctor said that if we have kept her from sweets earlier he could have 50% guaranteed that she would lose some weight till 13. But for now on she will always be overweight. We had lots of tearful nights since then. She didnt want to eat at all sometimes but on and off it came into overeating which made me, my husband and all her aunties really sad.
Shes that age right now when girls want to be liked by the boys, the time when all of us got our first date and first kiss, but shes extremely shy because of obesity and even doesnt want to go out with her friends. If someone can help us with that I would be extremely thankful.
Vera, 36
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