Life is a consequence of nonsense. It was created by someone to make beings suffer. No, really, isnt it silly to waste your time on things that make sense in our lives? What I mean is whether it makes any sense to fight for anything in life if its o unfair? Many people just do nothing and get a lot more than those that spend days in hard labor.
True, life is like that and probably will always be. This assumption helped me understand something really important. No matter what happens, its life and you can do nothing about that, just move on. Ironically, we all were born to suffer in a way, so nothing to complain about.
Everybody goes through depressions now and then. I do too, of course. How often, you might ask. Well, they are different, it can be difficult to even give that feeling the name of depression. Yah, we obviously overuse this word these days.
I first got to know this wonderful word when I was maybe in high school or something. Those were the times when people took an odd liking to being depressed. And while doctors were rushing like chickens their head off to find the remedy, individuals just enjoyed that new state of mind that allows you to be pessimistic for no reason and do a lot of things that you would never be allowed to do unless you are depressed and stuff.
One of the worst things that ever happened to me caused the deepest depression ever. I had a close friend and all was fine for quite a while, but then he suddenly disappeared, no one knows why, and which is the biggest question for me even now. My grief was so deep that I couldnt move my thoughts, could barely stand daylight and happy people around.
My mom was really desperate because of my state of mind, she took me to all sorts of doctors she could find in the city. They used to feed me like a baby, because I refused to eat, had to force me to take antidepressants which put me into the condition of a strange ease, but faded away as soon as I finished the tablets.
Even now, within months, Im scared of thinking about that. Depression takes you so much closer to suicide, it gives no hope for the happy ending, and maybe its true that it pictures the world in its true colors. Depression is like salty cake, just the name cake, but thats it. So as with the life, just the name of life, in fact something else substituted by something really disgusting. I think that makes so many people kill themselves when they are depressed.
I feel much better now, just trying to never think about what happened too much, just to balance everything out. And its true that after the rain the sun is coming, after a long sleep you double your energy to go on. Thats exactly what makes life more.. alive!!
Emma, 25
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